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Rantings of His Humpfhness

April 2nd, 2005. 1:17 pm. Ew, I don't feel so good

I was feeling very icky the other day and momma was very sad. She cried and cried. I wish she didn't cry all the time when I don't feel good. It makes me feel sad and I don't like to feel sad when I don't already feel good.

But the next day I was feeling REALLY icky and I had to pee and I couldn't even get up. Mama didn't even yell at me for peeing on her, but she did cry a lot more which made me sad and scared, too. And then I felt bad for making her cry.

She took me to the The Bad Place but sometimes, The Bad Place isn't so bad. I don't like it there because they always do bad things to me, but when I go in feeling rotten I come out feeling better. Mama doesn't stay there with me and I'm sad and lonely there but she does come to see me.

They did poke me with all kinds of sharp things and stuck something in my arm, but I mostly didn't care because I felt too rotten. I started feeling better, though, and so I took that sharp thing out of my arm, but then they put it back and put me in all kinda plaster stuff so I couldn't take it out again and I didn't like that very much because it was also very hard to walk. I didn't have very much room to walk though so it mostly wasn't so bad, and I had a warm bed, and except for the barkydogs, it was mostly ok. I slept a lot and I was very tired because I couldn't sleep the day before. And mama did come to visit me.

I was only there a day and a half, and Mama came and took me home and took pictures of me and has been lavishing love and affection on me, when she's not trying to force feed me, give me medicine or isn't home.

She is, however, letting me have my yummyfood, even though yesterday she mixed it in with the icky canned food. Which is still better than the really icky dry food. But I only want the yummyfood.

The only thing I don't like is she keeps me away from everybody during the day. Now, I'm pretty tired so I sleep a lot but I still want to be able to play with my friends and I can't if I'm behind the door. I need to explain to the terrorist that he should let me out. I'll even let him have some of the yummyfood if he does.

Mama though, she's trying to baby me and I don't need to be babied. She has food and water and a box all set up right near the bed but I don't need them, I can use all the normal stuff. She set me up steps too but I don't use them. I don't even use that side of the bed. Just to show her!

And now I must nap.

Current mood: sick.

1 pet - Pet me!

March 12th, 2005. 2:10 pm.

Oh my goodness that was close!

Mama called me the other morning and of course I ran to her because I always do because she's my Mama and she loves me, but as soon as she scooped me up I knew something was WRONG!

And I was RIGHT, too! She took me out in the car room that has no fuzzy stuff on the floor and she put me in a cage and then I knew I was in for it even though I haven't done anything wrong and I'm not sick. And she took me to The Bad Place and I was NOT a happy Humpfh!

I cried and paced and tried to will her to taking me back home but she kept saying "no" and that I'm ok and that that Doctor Stevens lady was going to be nice to me and not do anything awful to me and I didn't believe her and I even wheezed to try to convince her how upset I was but she didn't listen!

They stuck me on some "scale" thing and everyone (except me!) seemed very happy about it and then we sat for a while and that room is COLD and I'm a COLD Humpfh, and I didn't like it! And then the doctor came in and I acted all sick again but they just laughed at me. :(

Then she *pried my mouth open*, which I didn't like at all, and the doctor tried to act like a bird but she doesn't have wings OR feathers and I'm not stupid so I didn't buy it. Then they talked for about ten minutes about my teeth, which made me think they were going to do something awful so I ran in my cage and hid. But then Mama closed up the cage and we left.

The good thing is, I'm getting that soft meat food stuff every night. Not canned food, better than that. It smells like human food! And I like it!

I wish I had the resolve to not run to my Mama whenever she calls me because I'm very upset and I think she's going to sneak something up on me about my teeth but I love her so much and I know if I say I will hide from her and not sit with her, and not sleep with her that I'm not going to be able to keep that resolution.

Still, I wish she wouldn't take me there, because I don't like it.

Current mood: anxious.

2 pet s - Pet me!

January 23rd, 2005. 2:00 am. :(

My mouth hurts.


I was sleeping in the windowsill, and I lost my balance, and I fell and cracked my chin on the floor.

Worst of all, I *broke my fang-teeth*!


Mama saw it, too, and she was very upset, and she kept poking at my mouth which hurt but I know she only did it because she was worried about me.

She was very happy when I ate, too...and then she gave me canned food! Which was very yummy and she even kept the terrorist away from me so I could eat it in peace.

And the guy is being nice to me too. He snuggled me and wants me to come to sleep in the bed even when he's there now, so that's nice.

But my mouth still hurts. :(

Current mood: sore.

Pet me!

September 28th, 2004. 12:09 pm.

Where is the terrorist?

And why did we all get that stinkyfish stuff last night, and canned food?

Current mood: confused.

Pet me!

May 31st, 2004. 4:44 am. Fat

I need to go on a diet. I weigh 9.4 pounds. :-S

Mama seems awfully happy about that, though....

Current mood: confused.

Pet me!

May 27th, 2004. 1:01 am.

Lots of goings on lately!

Mama's been home ALL DAY! I've seen her more today than I have in MONTHS! She even let me sleep with her which is something she hasn't let me do for a WEEK! But she's sleeping a lot; I don't think she feels very good.

There's a new talking picture box. It's very big. It scares me. :(

There's also a new little baby. He looks kind of like me, and kind of like Simba did. He loves Mama and she loves him, but she hasn't stopped loving me. She makes sure to pay attention to all of us. I would like to snuggle him but he only wants Mama. When he picks fights with me, though, Mama yells at him. And then he cries. But he tries to take all my "spots". :-s

Current mood: jealous.

Pet me!

May 24th, 2004. 12:39 am.


Current mood: scared.

1 pet - Pet me!

January 18th, 2004. 1:36 am. Yay!

The dog is gone and the bitchycat is locked up!

I have my Mama back!

Current mood: ecstatic.

Pet me!

December 30th, 2003. 4:33 pm. MadmadmadmadmadHissssssss!

My mama has lost her mind! Lost it! Completely, I tell you!

There is a DOG in my HOUSE! A DOG! Can you imagine??? And not a mellow quiet dog like that Honeydog was; she'd let me sleep on her and she'd keep me warm, but a little dog, not much bigger than that bitchcat Mimi, but goodness he is HYPER.

And he tried to EAT Tinkerbell!

I heard all the commotion but I didn't see it; Mama had me locked behind a closed door. Away from the dog, which is good, but we couldn't all run out to help Tinkerbell. I only know about it because Tink told me. She said Mama ran up to her and pulled the rotten barky dog off of her, and tapped him in his head and shouted "rotten dog!" at him, and went up to Tink later and picked her up and cuddled her and told her what a good girl she was for beating him up and how proud she was, but Tink was mad at Mama and also afraid Mama was gonna try to feed her to the dog again!

The rotten smelly thing was inside all day yesterday, but Mama put him in a cage. Which is good because I don't like being locked away in MY HOUSE from a rotten little hyper dog that tries to eat me, and I most certainly don't like being chased all the livelong day.

He must have gotten a hold of that bitchcat Mimi though...because she never starts fights with us any more and has taken to sleeping on the bed with us, because we're all afraid to leave Mama's room, even when that rotten little hyper dog is caged. He must be stupid though, because I figured out how to open the cage the first time I looked at it and he doesn't open it, and I know he's not patient or smart enough to lie there and wait for us to get close to him.

He even sleeps in that cage, but he's outside today. Trying to paw his way in.

Rotten dog.

I don't like dogs.

Current mood: angry.

Pet me!

December 17th, 2003. 1:08 pm. *pout*

Mama brought one of The Other Cats out of The Locked Room last night. The night before, too.

(I'm online because the dark furred guy that Mama's always laughing at showed me the password, and I managed to kick Delilah off it. Dumb cat, she likes to sleep here! Shhhhh...don't tell Mama or I'll get in trouble!)

Anyway, the cat looks kind of like Opal, but only one color. And the same growly mean-ness too. Mama had her and was laying down with her and cuddling her, and even asked me to come see, so I did, and then she growled at me! I got so mad I went and sat on the dryer, and didn't even come to Mama when she called me to go to bed. Which was fine, until the dryer went off...then I was kind of cold. :(

Mama's taken to locking that bitch Mimi away from us during the day. I'm glad. I don't like her. She's always trying to tell me she's the bosscat. Huh. I don't THINK so! And there are two babycats in the bathroom that cry all day long. I wish they'd shut up. It interferes with my nap.

Current mood: grumpy.

1 pet - Pet me!

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